there is nothing on tv ugghh

Thanks to TV, I know that this beer is going to be AWESOME because the mountains are so cold that they're blue! Finally, commercials have come in handy! Beer is crazy.

who's gonna hit me? are you gonna hit me?

While blowing some spare time at the Cumberland mall, look what I found! For a mere $2.95 I got a pair of GREEN undies that say "BOOGIE" on them! Okay, to be fair, it says "jungle boogie" but you can only see the "boogie" part from the front! I think I made out LOTS better than all the people in line to buy an iphone.

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you

Today I could have used a gecko today as there was so many bugs. I don't know exactly what sort of pests were joining me but they were seriously annoying. Perhaps they'll be some sort of bug expert reading this and they can tell me what sort of friend I was hanging with this afternoon. All I can tell you is they were tiny, practically microscopic and sort of a orange-red color. But they were so small and frail that I barely had to touch them and they were a tiny smear on my arm. But whatever they were, I seem to have survived without any wear or tear and I had a relaxing day before the thunderstorms hit; despite the calamity that results when you combine thunder and Gizmo. BAZAM

money cash, money cash hoes

Gasp! I got out of the house today! I went and saw "Evan Almighty"! Gasp!

goddamn subtitles

I am going to be 10lbs heavier by the time my family returns.

cheese fries, 3 o' clock

Gizmo and I went on our first walk of 2007 today. It was clear within moments of leaving the house that Gizmo is terribly out of practice. Instead of exerting his freedom, he kept trying to jump into my arms. But soon he got the idea and we strolled on up the street. Not very far, but you don't have to walk far on Main Street before some asshole in a pick-up honks. Which I hate. That annoyance aside, Gizmo was very well behaved. Some kids went by on bikes and he didn't bark! It's a good thing he didn't because later we were chilling on the front porch when my neighbor came out for her hourly cigarette and he tried to bark. When I say "tried" I mean that he barked and Mr. Bark Collar said, "HALT" and by God, Giz listened! In fact, he was so terrified of the mighty hand of Officer Collar, that he crawled into my lap and clung to me like white on rice. So, maybe this bark collar thing will work in NYC after all! yay :)

how stupid of me to leave my guitar there!

"California Salad" ingredients as described on the menu: lettuce, cucumbers, eggs, tomatoes, croutons, and chicken

"California Salad" ingredients in the actual salad I received: lettuce, cucumbers, eggs, tomatoes, croutons, chicken, onions, green peppers, olives, hot peppers, and... a.. pickle?

Not only did the cook maybe over do it with the salad ingredient wise, but I think that that salad came from the same island as King Kong. Everything was HUGE! Kong sized even! The croutons looked like dinner rolls! Furthermore, has anyone ever gotten a deli pickle in their salad? Is that weird or is that just me? Seriously, a pickle? I'm surprised I didn't get a side of chips too.

our first day has just floated away

Despite the fact that all I basically did today was work, I had a unique day. When I woke up, I discovered that I was the lucky recipient of a big nasty spider bite on the back of my thigh. I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering all the spiders at the show yesterday. But the fun doesn't stop there! Then I went on the back porch today to find that Zoee had left me a gift. A dead frog. I was grossed out, but I let it be and went about my day. But Zoee insisted on me accepting this gift and next thing I knew, there was Mr. Dead Frog behind my chair. Luckily, when I went toward the back door, she picked him up and took him out back again. After much back and forth (as in me pushing it across the yard with the rake and Zoee getting it and bringing it back despite how I hid it or disciplined her), I finally had to just bury the frog. Which is maybe all Zoee really wanted me to do. To give her amphibian friend a final resting place. Though, I tend to think she was just getting a taste of foreign cuisine.

it's not the size of the fight in the dog, yada-yada-yada

If you missed my gig at the Bridgeton Farmer's Market, let me tell you, you didn't miss much. It was slow, windy as fuck, and there was spiders all over my music stand. But someone did tell me my music reminded them of a female Bob Dylan. Hopefully he didnt mean my vocals. Also, I made a few bucks and I got free freshly squeezed lemonade with strawberries. Moreover, I can always look back when I'm playing sold out shows and remember the day that I played to the applause of two people; one of them being part of my "crew". I surely hope the attendance for my Borders show on July 6th at 7pm (plug, plug) is a bit better!

i can almost remember the funny faces

Someone at Serafina's needs to go to pizza cutting school.

I'm unusually hard to hold onto

Good news! Yesterday was the climax of my mouth pain! This morning when I awoke my mouth was in a great deal less percentage of pain. As I said, the way it goes for me is that it gets worse and worse right before it gets better. So now that the fever has broke, I'm on the mend. Still hurting, but relieved to not be hurting quite so bad. Hizzah!

what's a bi-law?

Nothing particularly special happened today. Had trouble sleeping so I got up at 8am and sat with an ice pack on my mouth for most of the morning. Took some Dilaudid, did my laundry, took a shower, went to Target, had mac 'n cheese, went to Bennigan's with Jamie, and came home and put the ice pack back on my mouth. That's about it. My life is so thrilling. And this is BEFORE Jamie and my parents both go on vacation on the same week! Ah well. Check how cute my dog is anyway.

sometimes its hard to be a woman

Today I did a lot of nothing in my attempt to recoup from the past few days of oral abuse. But, one of these days will be the last days of pain. Not to sound morbid because I'm not talking about suicide or any impending death. It's just that usually my canker sores get worse before they get better and today has just been agony. So I'm hoping that either tomorrow or the next day it'll be done with me. I've dumped Advil for Darvocet and the way things are going, I might have to dump Darvocet and go straight to Dilaudid. If you're unaware of what Dilaudid is, well, it's often used as a substitue for heroin or morphine. That's the kind of pain I'm in here, folks. But I'll live. I think. Probably. Yeah, I guess so.

you wanna roll with a player, lets go

Though some things didn't exactly go my way yesterday, somethings worked out perfectly! I think the show went well and people that weren't my family or friends actually came out for the event. Yes, a few people just came out because they liked what they saw ON DA STREET. holler. And Eavvon actually accomplished in making a good surprise for once! ;) It really worked to his advantage because I was so stressed about the show and the drum situation that I completely forgot momentarily that he said he was coming so it felt like a very genuine surprise! Nice one, team! But yesterday was a pretty awesome day all in all. Now if this mouth ulcer could go away I could get back to my old self again and that'd be even awesome-er.

thanks to everyone that came out!

shut your mouth, try not to panic

This is when my brain broke. We thought that the problem would be my mouth, but no, apparently the real problem is my brain. I flat out could not remember the second chord in "Zoee and Gizmo" which is just beyond retardation. That's one of my songs that I never wrote down the chords because the chords came so naturally and in such a progression that I've never had to think about them. Well, tonight, I forgot it. Lesson learned about not writing the chords down. But, there is a happy ending! I finally figured it out and the show was saved! Thank God my songs aren't complex!


and incase anyone that follows this blog is wondering, Gizmo is okay. Took him to the vet and the general diagnosis is that he pulled a muscle. No torn tendons or anything so now he's just on anti-inflammatory medication. Just like me! Dog and owner really do start to take on each other's qualities...

heads across the sky

Today was another trying day, but in a different sense. Same awful mouth pain, but then someone else came down with something. Gizmo is mysteriously injured, sick, or schizophrenic. I'm not sure which. I just know that he's been acting a bit weird today. Sometimes clingy and very agitated and grumpy others. Then he had a scary sort of freak out outback which had me near tears. Since then, he's been bedridden and not at all happy. So before my show tomorrow night, Mr. Giz might be visiting Mr. Vet. Wish us luck!

my heart is beating madly for her

Today was a trying day for me. A good day, relatively, but literally painful. This canker sore I've been dealing with for the past few days is a real bitch. It just kills all day and all night. Knowing that I was going to Cinniminson (or Cinnabartown), I was especially distressed to wake up in such an unbarable degree of pain today. So when I was out running errands with my mom, we went and picked up some mouth sore relief. I usually don't bother because it hurts so horrendously to put on and doesn't last long, but I was desperate. And to add insult to injury, the ordeal I dealt with last night with the internet was turned up a notch when we purchased a new router and lost all connection while installing it. I got so frustrated I just freaked out and cried. And of course, when I calmed down and came back, it worked. So, really, what this all comes down to is Murphy and his law. If he'd never come up with that dumb shit everyone's life would be a lot fuckin easier! Damn you Murphy! Damn you and your law!

just keep breathing

It's important to me that I update about this... So, last Wednesday my Aunt's dog, Elwood passed away. He was quite old for a Labrador, but when I heard the news, I was still pretty crushed. I have no clue how old I was when she got him but he's been a staple figure at my Aunt's house for as long as I can remember, practically. Considering all the times I've dog sat for him and Rell and the amount of time I stayed there when I worked there and even all the family occasions that have taken place there, I personally felt very close to those doggies. I'm seriously saddened. And I can't even fathom how my Aunt is doing.
Okay, that's all I'm going to say about that.

billy is a nuisance

Well, I'm a slacker, basically, but when I went to update last night, I had no internet connection. Then this evening I lost connection AGAIN but since I had no more work to type and it was only 10pm, I decided to call the "internet Gods" and try to fix the problem (despite the fact that my mom called today already). So, after an hour on the phone and much frustration, it's fixed, for now. But over the weekend, Eavvon moved away in order to steal my friends, Matt and I got iHopped and today Jamie and I were trapped in a destructive waterfall from the sky! And Eavvon, if you steal my friends, I eat your pancakes; that's just the rules of rap!

mind your mothafuckin business

I waited around all day for Gizmo to do something absolutely dimwitted so I could come on my blog and say that the "XS" sticker on top his head was because he had an "extra small" brain. But dammit, he didn't do anything stupid. If my dog wasn't so damn intelligent, my blog would be so much wittier and humorous! I obviously stuck the sticker on the wrong dog. I should have stuck it on the one that sits in the middle of the backyard barking at nothing. Come to think of it, maybe I should have stuck it on my forehead. . .

i woke up in between a memory and a dream

I heard down the grapevine that there was an enormous, blood thirsty turtle roaming the outskirts of our yard this afternoon. I don't have to tell you how rare it is to see a wild, ferocious turtle roaming our fair city and if not for the bravery of one little dog, I'd not have lived to tell this tale. Thank God we have Zoee to protect us from wild, killer turtles. Thank GOD.


Also, no, I am not pregnant or malnurished. I'm just fabulous. Do you love it?

i can't even remember his name

Hey bitches. Just because I'm absent from the blogasphere for a few days doesnt mean I'm in rehab.

bye sexy.