Saturday, March 31, 2007

right back to where you started from


This sandwich sucked. I don't think it's the proximate cause of the impending migraine that followed later that night, but I'm sure it didnt help matters. Everything about it was a downer in my books. A tuna sandwich with celery, onions, possibly some kind of relish on toasted wheat bread. That's a pretty bad combination. I do like tuna, but not with poops in it. I probably would have rathered to just eat some slices of bologna. And I don't even like bologna! nor do I eat that stuffs! Alas, one bad sandwich does not ruin the whole day, baby. Leave that to a cigar. They can turn a great day into a very painful experience. But, despite my migraine, I had fun. Army of Me was top notch, Good Charlotte made me laugh, the show was free, the hugs were "amazing" and the weather was gorgeous. If I hadn't gotten that migraine, it would have been the perfect way to spend a Friday.

Friday, March 30, 2007

at first it's constricting, but then it becomes part of you

Today felt loooooooooong. I'm glad it's just about done with. Just so I can wake up to another very long day. Keep your fingers crossed for a successful day. Tomorrow could either rule or blow. Now, normally, I pray for blow (mm cocaine), but let's pray for RULE!
GOODNIGHT.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star

Today while making the greatest recordings ever, I was let in on some incredible secrets...but since I can keep a secret, I can say no more. But this secret has changed my week. Just when you think your Friday will just be a regular old Friday, secrets are unleashed that change your lack of plans into "sort of" plans. Though, these "sort of" plans could possibly be nothing and I'll just be watching "Blades of Glory" in a city that is not Vineland. All that said and the secret is secure!

In other news, Jamie and I made our first journey to Mole St in Philly and made barbeque and a little Oops. Good things are on the horizon!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

why don't you ask me to my face, bitch






I've been blog lazy lately.
I've been busy.
Family gatherings in scary houses in Hammonton.
Errand running.
Good Charlotte albums dropping onto the floor.
Justin Timberlake begging me to come to Philly.
And on and on.
Just a very busy couple of days.

Don't be too jealous..
but..
I was only a few rows away from Justin Timberlake's BIGGEST fans!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

oh sailor, why'd you do it, what'd you do that for?

If you think I look a tad bit pale or sick in this picture, the alien inside of me is to blame. Last night after returning home, I realized that Applebee's had given me a special prize for dining there; a singing, dancing alien. I thought for sure the alien would burst out and sing it's number sometime last night, but he's obviously got some sort of stage fright because this morning I awoke with the alien still inside of me. He's been causing me a great deal of pain. And other than just a constant pain, I have no other signs or symptoms ailing me, so I figure, definitely has to be an alien. Mr Alien, if you are reading my blog somehow, please make your exit ASAP. Thank you. And good night.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

bring out the bucket, bring out the cloth

Just when we'd given up hope on our dear friend, Jimmy, he finally was able to make it to one of my shows for the first time ever. I don't know what he thought was going to happen if he came to any of the others, but I think he's seen they're relatively painless and maybe even the perfect way for one to spend their Friday night. Despite some minor flubbing, flustering, and complete loss of my ba-jezzus, the night went along swimmingly enough. If you weren't there, I wish you had been! Dizang! Be there next time! No excuses!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Thursday, March 22, 2007

you could climb a ladder up to the sun


Today I added another ailment to the list of aches and pains I've been collecting over the past couple of days, but this pain should only last a few days and then I'll be left with only two or three aches and pains. Which made it a perfect day to drive to the "Compressor Mall" and spend mucho dinero and enjoy the delights of "More than Just Swings Sets!"

Later after enjoying a quick bite, I got my music files from Anthony so he'll be out of my life forever now! WHEW! ;)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

i get the feeling i could leave you on the interstate





Today I found that:
- moving to NYC can get me a free bathing suit.
- Gizmo pees in the kitchen because I ignore him.
- trying on shoes gets me real excited for spring.
- Uno has the strangest idea of "take out".

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

i am a block of ice

If you're an avid reader of this blog, you might remember yesterday that I mentioned my wrist hurting. Well, it's no better today. I am not what they call "on the mend". It's been so tender and sore that I've become temporarily left handed and am hardly able to pick up Gizmo without yelping a bit. And that is a true tragedy.

Fortunately, as you can see, my mother did return home.
For only my mother could bandage me up so good.

All I need now is a witch doctor or some pills. or both.

Monday, March 19, 2007

come in she said I'll give ya shelter from the storm


How is it that this weekend was so boring?

And for the record, Powers That Be, flat tires in the middle of Wildwood do not make a weekend more exciting or any less boring. It just requires an hour or so more of sitting in an Acme parking lot in the cold and eating Denny's for dinner.

Why does my wrist hurt like a mofo?! BIZOW

Sunday, March 18, 2007

i wasn't gonna vomit because you weren't here

Today was a total bust.
Stupid damn weather!
Go away winter! Enough!

Philadelphia International Airport was basically completely shut down today due to the frozen run ways and so now my mother won't be returning until Monday. Double farts!

I did get work FINALLY. Hallejuah!

Alas, I still used my credit card to pay for dinner. It's a holiday. We didn't drink green beer or do anything even remotely irish, but I think we made the best of a shitty, pointless day.

Be that as it may, many thanks to St. Patrick for helping those snakes get out of Ireland. We all know how hard it can be for snakes to make transportation arrangements considering their lack of opposable thumbs. I'm sure they appreciated the drive.

(this picture was not taken today but was snow related and a great pose by ANTD)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Friday, March 16, 2007

all i want is somethin special and you can give it to me




Finally, my booty comes in handy.

Furthermore, my mother needs to get her booty home already. Zoee is suffering, which is making Gizmo suffer, which is making me suffer. Also, I need to get WORK. My wallet is suffering, which is making my life boring, which is making me suffer. Speaking of suffering, spring needs to sprang. tease.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

we can't go back, it won't be the same

Though this picture doesn't do it justice, this was the swankiest McDonald's I'd ever stepped foot in. It was surprisingly clean and calm with music that brought us back to our 6th grade soft rock pasts with the romantic hits of Celine Dion, Chicago, Sting, etc. The booths were black and stylistic and entirely foregin to the likes of your usual McDonald's. How can this be? Well, the answer lies in the rejection of my Corporate Coupon. In order to have a swanky fast food joint, you sacrifice a few perks. In privately owned McDonald's (which I find to be incrediably contradictory to the whole idea of a McDonald's), they don't listen to "the man". They play by their own rules! They're not giving away food! They've got interior decorator bills to pay! So, you better just take your complaint coupons elsewhere!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

time is on our side, lets not waste another minute


Today I drove to Cinnaminson and checked out this pretty sweet studio I think we're going to start laying down some tracks at. I went alone and didn't get lost despite the horrendous traffic, a Will sighting, and nearly being crushed like a Coke can in the middle of an SUV and a large MAC truck. Hizzah! But, all in all, I think it was a successful trip and well worth the drive. Besides, my father was home all day so I prefer rush hour traffic to his grumblings anyday.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

like a fool, I went and stayed too long


You know you must be getting old when you can't go on the swings without getting motion sick. I blame my mother. She's the household favorite when it comes to scapegoating. No matter where she goes, she cannot hide from the blame that is all hers to bare!

But rest assured readers, motion sickness won't get me down! I shall continue swinging! Motion sickness and warnings be damned! I shall swing! swing, swing! by the riverside!

Besides, Gizmo is the one that vomed.

Monday, March 12, 2007

would you fuck off with the fucking candles




Somehow I managed to do even less today than I did yesterday. Quite an accomplishment. Very unfortunately for me, the only thing worth mentioning is that today was the Madden's birthday. Now they're 28. And honestly, they're stupider than ever. Quite an accomplishment.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

life is but a dream to me


I did a whole lot of this today; chillin with monkeyface. But I wouldn't call it a boring day. Just a relaxing day. I replied to the plethora of what I like to call "space mail" and spent time with my mother who is off to Texas for the week. Which, might I add, is far too long. I didn't know til today that it was going to be that damn long. Ah well. At least Gizmo doesn't take off to far corners of the country like this! Just far corners of the room!

on another completely different note, my smart clock is not very smart. Thanks a lot GW. Just another way you totally RUIN EVERYTHING!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

don't look at me in that tone of voice

oh, I'm tired.

I always liked that part in "I Am the Walrus" when you can hear the radio cutting in at the end and you can't clearly make out much of whatever program they spliced in, but you can clearly hear an old man say, "oh, I'm tired". So, when I said that just above, that's how I meant it. Take heed.


ps. thanks for the twelve bucks, real friends

Friday, March 9, 2007

you're staring at my dress. I should explain.

Once upon a time, I was good, dear friends with this girl to the left of me. In my senior year, and arguably years before that, we had a "falling out" and I haven't hardly seen nor spoken to her. Well, all that changed today. While giving out flyers to the places I'm performing at in the following months, I ran into her. She works at Bogart's Coffee Bar where I'm playing on April 6th. And if it weren't enough that she works there, when I said I was playing there next month (as to the reason why I was bringing a flyer around), she said, "Yeah, the 6th, right?". So, it's nice to know she was already well aware and will probably be making another appearance. Awwwwkwwwaaard.. rick rick rick rick..

Thursday, March 8, 2007

shit, I'm a changed man


Today was my mother's birthday. I'm not going to tell how old she is because you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Not only did I stay up until 7am to wish her a pleasant birthday this morning, but I took her to dinner at Martino's. Yes, I even paid. Believe it or not. And not just that, she got presents too. She's cute as a button and now in the possession of two tickets to Justin Timberlake's show on March 27th. Shit, I hope she takes me...

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

uhhuh, shut up Bob Woodruff.

I just found out someone I've known since I was 12 has a rare form of leukemia. I'm in that weird stage of stunned that you get after getting bad news. That weird stage of shock that radiates throughout your whole body. That weird moment where you're not really sad, yet. But it's on the horizon. But, I suppose there is optimism to be found here. It obviously could be worse and has been worse. And once the shock wears off and I'm able to stop thinking about the last time I felt anything remotely like this, maybe I'll be able to find it.

Last Tuesday was so much cooler.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

all you do is smash things up


I was thinking today, it would really suck to get in a fist fight. Two things prompted these thoughts. A combination of Gizmo headbutting my brow bone and the movie Wild Hogs, which I went to see with my mother. There was a few fist fight type scenes in it, and I really think that only in the movies do you keep on getting back up after so much force to your face. Especially when you're middle aged men.
I saw a more accurate scene in Sex, Lies, and Videotape the other night. James Spader's character finds himself basically unable to get up for a few dizzying moments after only one punch. Now, see, that's what I think would really happen, at least to me. If someone punched me in my face, I would definitely just go down hoping that less contact to my face would occur if I just stayed the hell down. I cried uncle after only one hit with a dog that's not even half my size.

What can I say? I'm a loveist not a fightest.

Monday, March 5, 2007

"pacific ocean" - not to be confused with "atlantic ocean" or "gulf of mexico"



As you know, this is Gizmo.
As you might not know, Gizmo was sick today.
Not once. Not twice. But three times he was sick.
And like a mother, I had to clean not only the floor, but his disgusting little face.

And then I bought thunder/rain sounds on itunes and scared the bajeezzus out of him.

pay backs are a bitch! haHA!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

she's the best of the million dollar club, obviously

Vince and the US Postal Service are a great team. I saw the band on Tuesday and I received the hoodie I was promised in less than a week's time. You can't beat that kind of service. Unless, of course, the band has their merch with them when you see them and they don't have to mail it to you later thus resulting in the lead singer going poor and hungry from paying such steep shipping and handling charges.


But, a hoodie was not all I got! I also got this original piece of art work on the back of the package:

Luckily for me, the mailman gave up stealing mail for lent and despite himself, he gave the mail to it's rightful owner.

Today also brought other good things. Like, my resized ring I've been waiting forever for, I relearned things about Pocahontas, and I saw "Black Snake Moan" along with some ladies that talked more than Dane Cook does in a movie. But worry not, they didn't interfere with my enjoyment of Samuel L. Jackson in somewhat overly religious roles. Though, I'm a little mad at youtube. They ruined Justin's best scene! Whatta spoiler!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

rockin aint no walk in the park, lady


Went and saw Chad Farthouse this evening with Jamie in Philadelphia, Home of Freedom, and I've got to say, so far, the funnest, funniest day of March! Any show that begins with a decent opening act and ends with a bearded man in an Annie outfit lip synching "Tomorrow" just has to be good. And yes, it was.

Plus, we got free dessert just for being patient! Maybe March will be my month!

I love Zach. Those two push ups a day are workin.

Friday, March 2, 2007

but I'm a dapper dan, man



My life for the past couple of days has looked a little something like this. I can't complain, though. The money from this cervical burden has bought me parking, entrance to the Khyber, a beer, a poster frame, a cute little wall clock, and an AOM of hoodie. A hoodie that's already being mailed to me. Can't beat that kind of efficiency. Take that, Stepford Wife! I get hoodies specially mailed to me and the sweet satisfaction of just being smarter than you.