there's a world out there, don't you deny me

Tonight Jamie and I took a day trip to our old stomping grounds and West Chester didn't know what hit it! I don't know if it was the hotness of our karaoke performances (hot like fi'ah!) or the fiery jealousy of people wishing they were cool enough to hang with the CMC, but Hubcap Jack's spontaneously combusted and we were lucky to get by without being taken up on any formal charges. But I don't think they can charge us for being awesome. I think Gretchen Wieners said it best when she said, "I don't think I should be punished for being well-liked." Be that as it may, sorry West Chester. We'll try to be less awesome next time... SIKE! LOLZ!

MORE IMPORTANTLY - CHECK ME OUT - I'M A WINNER!

It would have rocked harder if it was a Coke, but sometimes I enjoy a Pepsi so now I can enjoy two for the price of one! Plus, everything tastes better when it's free!! Moreover, I haven't won anything on a cap in YEARS. This has been the best Hump Day in months!

Asides from the drunk men hitting on us, that is. I just want to say to all the dudes out there trying to find love. Nothing about you getting drunk at a bar is going to make me want to go home with you. I am not wooed by your slurred speech or uninvited shoulder/back touching. Asking us if we're married or lesbians is certainly not going to help your already hopeless case. Perhaps you should step back and see there's a much more obvious reason that I'm not paying you any attention and being somewhat rude to you. And it has nothing to do with my marital status or what's in your pants. And fuck those dudes for saying that. But fuck them like in the ass with something that they wouldn't enjoy. I don't want to misconstrued anything. Man, I really should always wear a ring of some sort on my left ring finger when I go out. Wedding bands/engagement rings to men are like citronella to mosquitoes.

Annnd...I'm spent.